To the busy men and women in a relationship

Posted on February 20, 2021 by Kofi Tutu

Relationships and Marriages are going to require you to sacrifice your time to communicate and be with the one your say you love.

If you are not ready to make out time for your partner then you are not ready for a relationship or marriage.

Some of you are known to use the word
I am too busy,
I forgot.
You are not understanding that my work takes a lot from me.

These are beautiful excuses but they are worthless. The truth is that we all are busy with life in one way or another but we make out time for what is important to us.

You are busy but you take your bath.
You are busy but you still have time to eat.
You are busy but you still chat.
You are busy but you still wash your clothes.
You are busy but you still sleep.
You are busy but you still hang out with some other friends.

It’s only when it comes to your relationship that you are busy and still busy, even very busy that you can’t make out few minutes to talk to your partner over the phone, leave them a voice note, send a text or even clear some of your schedules and plan a hangout.

Let me tell you this for free until you are ready to make your partner a priority in your life then you are not ready for a relationship or marriage.

Marriage is a full-time job on its own. So if you can’t sacrifice time and other things now in your relationship to be with your partner then you are not ready to make that union work therefore stay away until you are ready.

As a guy, don’t spend months chasing a lady, calling her morning, afternoon, and night but when she finally says yes then you start claiming you are so busy to call or chat.

As a lady don’t keep that guy waiting for a yes and at the same time you call and chat but the moment you agree then you start claiming to be busy.

And to you who is suffering from this right now listen up.

Nobody, i mean not even a single soul is too busy for what they love.

Anybody that really loves you will make out time for you.

If you are not talking at least two times a day and they call you an attention seeker then you are in trouble. They are not passionate about you.

I understand the concept of being an attention seeker but you are not if you hardly talk to each other. You are just demanding for your fundamental relationship right of communication.

(Side note: you are an attention seeker when you are now a pest. You want to talk every minute and second of the day like you don’t have a life of your own outside that relationship. But aside from this, you are not doing anything wrong).

Also know when you leave a sure relationship because of your mental health.

So to you out there claiming busy, just be honest with yourself and with your partner if you truly love them.

If you don’t love them then let them go so they can meet who loves them but if you really love them then learn how to make out time for them.

Work on your time management skill and you will enjoy a better relationship and marriage.

Cheers.

Personal development and Relationship Coach
Profit Eneh

Marital

Some warning signals you must pay attention to in your relationship!

Posted on February 8, 2021February 8, 2021 by Kofi Tutu

ANGER: If he/she easily gets angry when you have a little misunderstanding, he/she doesn’t tolerate jokes, be conscious before you committed to him/her.

THREATENING YOU: If he/she threatening to leave you when you have a little argument, he/she will threatening and may leave you in marriage, be wise.

BEATING YOU: If he beat you up every time, if he slaps you during an argument, he will do the worst in marriage. Be wise.

LACK OF COMMUNICATION: If you are the only one that does all the calling, caring, messaging, texting… It depicts that you are forcing yourself on him/her. A man/woman that truly loves you will show it through his/her actions, he/she will not make excuses, they will find time to connect with you no matter how busy their schedule is. He/she will see you as their priority…Be sensitive.

WOMANIZER: If he womanizes, if you always see him with different girls, if he cheats on you on countless occasions, he may not change if you marry him. Look well before you leap.

HIDING YOU: If he/she hides you if he/she is not proud of you, if he/she fails to introduce you to his friends and family, it possible you are not his/her only option… Be wise.

MUMMY’S BOY/MUMMY’S GIRL: If he/she is a Mummy’s boy/girl, if he/she can’t make decisions by himself/herself, if he/she must consult his/her mum at all times before he/she can talk to you, his/her mum will influence him/her in marriage. Be wise.

LACK OF MATURITY: If he/she still behaves like a child, if he/she is not mature Spiritually, Emotionally, Mentally, Financially, etc. Marriage is not for kids, marriage is for mature. Be wise.

LACK OF VISION: If he/she doesn’t have visions, goals, and dreams, such a man/woman can not be responsible, you will be the one taking all the responsibility if you marry him/her. A woman without vision will be a liability to a man, and a man with no vision will be a burden to a woman and will not be responsible… Be wise.

LIES/DECEIT: A man that lies and a woman that lies in courtship will lie in marriage if he/she is not a transparent type if he/she is a deceptive person, my dear you will have a problem with him/her in marriage. Be wise.

LACK OF FRIENDSHIP: If he/she is a serious type, you can’t joke or play with him/her, if you are not free with him/her now that you are in courtship you will not be free with him/her in marriage. Be wise.

ALWAYS DEMAND SEX: If what he want from you is sex, if he claims to love you because you always give him sex, he only lusts after you, he did not love you. After eating you, he will discard you like garbage. Given him sex to prove your love for him is an act of foolishness. Don’t be a fool sister.

If she always comes to you for sexual satisfaction, she sees you as her sexual mate, she always demands sex, hmm! You may not be able to satisfy her in marriage, more so, marriage is more than just sex, my dear brother, be wise, sex may be the only thing she will be able to offer in marriage. Be sensitive.

BUYING YOU WITH MONEY AND MATERIAL THINGS: If he spends lavishly on you, he always keeps you sort and silent you with gifts, he takes you out on a date on regular basis. When he’s wrong, he always buys you gifts to makeup, nothing is wrong with everything I listed up there, but make him’s not buying you with money. Don’t be blindfolded with money and material things. Be sensitive and be a wise sister.

IF HE/SHE LOVE YOU BECAUSE OF MONEY: If a lady loves you because of money and material things she gets from you, any time the money is finished or you have a financial challenge she will abandon you and go for another rich guy. Be wise.

If he loves you because you are a working-class lady, you lavish money on him and he claims he loves you, the day he demanded something you are unable to provide will be the last day of your relationship, be wise.

If he or she turns you to ATM, he/she constantly withdraws from you without depositing positively into your life, hmm! Love is reciprocal, be sensitive.

LACK OF FORGIVENESS: If he/she lacks forgiveness, if he/she always finds it hard to forgive, my dear, think twice before you take her to the altar, think twice before you say I Do. Marriage requires constant and instant forgiveness.

SELF-CENTERED: If he/she always thinks about himself/herself, he/she doesn’t consider how you feel, he/she can not make sacrifices for you, … such a man/woman is dangerous. Be wise.

LACK OF FEAR OF GOD: A man/woman that did not fear God can easily be used by the devil, he/she will not think twice before embarking on an evil journey, harming you will not be hard for him/her such a person is devilish, be warned.

SOMEONE THAT PROMISE TO CHANGE BUT HE/SHE NEVER CHANGE: Beware of a man/woman who promises to change his/her bad habit but never deed, Don’t agree to marry him/her hoping that he/she will change in marriage, marriage doesn’t change anybody, except the person willingly change by himself/herself. Don’t take the risk. Be wise.

A MAN/WOMAN THAT ALWAYS GIVES EXCUSS:
A man/woman that is not responsible will always give an excuse, a guy/lady that loves you will not give an excuse. Someone that truly loves you will find time out of his or her busy schedule to connect with you… Be sensitive.

LACK OF PEACE AND REST OF MIND:
If you don’t have peace and rest of mind in your relationship something is wrong somewhere, if you don’t have peace and rest of mind with him/her it is a serious warning sign that you should never overlook… Be sensitive!

OFF AND ON TYPE: Some guys/ladies are off and on, they will be available today and vanished to thin air later, they will come back to you and go again, if your partner is off and on it shows that he/she did not know what they want, stop wasting your precious time on such person. Move on.

OVER JEALOUS PERSON:
Someone that is over jealous will overreacts and misbehave, such a person can destroy or damage things out of anger, such a person can murder someone out of jealousy. Pay attention to this, it’s very important.

LACK OF CONTENTMENT: Someone that doesn’t appreciate little things will not value big things. If he/she is not content with you or the things you give him/her, the habit will continue in marriage, be conscious of this…

There are many warning signs and signals you must not overlook in your relationship. Pay attention to them.

Choose who you want to spend the rest of your life with care and wisely.

God will order your steps in Jesus’ Name.

Rachealvoice

Marital

How to Identify a Wrong (Toxic) Relationship

Posted on January 19, 2021 by Kofi Tutu

A relationship is said to be wrong, not because you’re not in love, but because you’re entangled in a friendship that’s killing you softly. Many have been trapped in a relationship that seems rosy, but they’re oblivious of the harm it’s doing to their life.

When Eve shared a few moments with the devil, she never knew it was a relationship that would send her out from the garden that God has kept them. But as a smart guy that he is, the devil made her see how the tree is “good” for food, “pleasant” to the eyes, and one that is to be desired to make one “wise.”

Can you see that? Please note those words in quotation marks. That’s how many wrong or toxic relationship appears, but a few months or years after, the damage won’t be redeemable.

It is better to quit a wrong relationship now, than for you to leave it when you’d have a scar. Truthfully, God will forgive you, but the scar wouldn’t be erasable.

Are you in the wrong relationship? Here’s how you can identify one if you don’t know.

It reduces you spiritually

The first agenda of every wrong or toxic relationship is that it draws you away from God, and brings you closer to hell.

If you now give him more attention than God, you’d be gradually disconnected from Him till you’re lost in sin. If she demands that you spend more time with her, remember what happened to Samson, he slept the sleep of death until they came to pluck out his eyes.

A bad relationship would reduce your commitment to God, such as your devotion to Him and His work. You’d think more of him or her than to concentrate on God when you should.

You’d suffer verbal abuse

No relationship, I mean, no relationship is worth humiliating you verbally. You shouldn’t be spoken to by anyone anyhow, whether in anger or as a habit if you truly know your worth.

A person who abuses you verbally can’t change if his or her understanding hasn’t been aligned properly to respect you. All this name-calling, body shaming, the use of foul languages or vulgar words is an indication that you’re in a wrong relationship.

You’re living as married couples when you’re single

Call it couple’s life, cohabitation, boyfriend and girlfriend, or what have you are destructive relationships. It is never God’s plan for you to jump a phase in your life. God will never give you “double promotion” to excuse you from a phase of life you must pass through.

All that you failed to learn when you should be single will be a carryover when you eventually settle down to marry, but with regret in the long run.

Line must be upon line and precepts upon precept. There’s time to be in a relationship, and there is a time when it is very good that you should be alone.

You can’t stay in the wrong relationship and would expect to marry the right person or enjoy what a blissful relationship is, you must quit; and I say that without an apology.

Dating married persons

For all I care, you should know that that’s a wrong relationship. You don’t need a prophet to say, “Thou saith the Lord.” You know why?

You’re sowing something that you’d reap later. Whether the Law of Karma is real or not, one thing I’m sure of is that God cannot be mocked and whatever you sow, you’ll surely reap. If you’re the reason why a man or woman misbehave in their matrimony, you’d harvest what you sow.

Don’t be the reason why a man is not faithful to his wife. Don’t share warmth with another man’s wife.

It would take a toll on your financial life

One sad thing about a wrong relationship is that you’d keep spending unprofitably. It is good to give in a relationship, but it’s weird to give at the expense of your life. It isn’t love to use your school fees to help anybody, it’s called stupidity of the highest order.

When he knows that you can give to a fault, you’d be taken advantage of. When she knows that you give blindly, you’ll become her ATM. And that would drain you financially.

It keeps you focused on pleasure rather than pursue your divine purpose

Any relationship you keep, whether you sugarcoat the name or not, and doesn’t prioritize the discovery of your divine purpose, but esteems the pursuit of pleasure to its maximum point would destroy you.

Those who haven’t discovered their divine purpose are not living, they’re only existing.

If you pursue pleasure so much in your relationship, it would ruin your useful life. Remember, the usefulness of youth is in their youthful life, and if all your youthful life is spent on the pursuit of frivolity, what would be the order of your life when old age sets in?

See, you can never be forever young. Every one of us would one day obey the laws of diminishing returns. Your pointed breast would sag one day or that handsomeness that becomes your focal point will fade. It is what you pursue in life that matters.

If you pursue pleasure – youthful lust – there’s a reward, and if you pursue your divine purpose, you’d have a greater reward with a life that’s exempted from the tragedies of the youthful life, especially of those who are void of understanding.

If you still read all these and scorn the truths in it, well, don’t say you haven’t been told. The year is still fresh. Set your life in order and quit any wrong or toxic relationship you carried over into this new year. Don’t be emotional about your decision.

A wrong relationship has no benefit than to destroy you; if not now, the destruction would come in the nearest future.

Selah

General News

HOW TO APOLOGIZE IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP OR MARRIAGE…

Posted on January 19, 2021 by Kofi Tutu

“Admit you are wrong”
Many grown ups are not humble enough to admit to their fault. Will you mess up your love just because of your pride?
“Explain why you did what you did”
Give the background sequence of events that led to you being on the wrong. A blank apology doesn’t address the issue
“Hear from your partner how he/she feels”
Allow your partner to vent, cry, shout, and tell you how much your actions/words pain him/her. Emotions and hurt shouldn’t be hidden if true reconcilition and healing is to occur. This also shows you care for your partner’s feelings
“Say sorry”
Let your partner hear you say those words, ‘I am sorry, please forgive me’
“Commit to not doing it again”
Say you won’t repeat the mistake again and mean it. An apology is empty if it’s not sincere
“Hear from your partner if you are forgiven”
Get to hear your partner tell you ‘I forgive you’. It has to be official
“Thank your partner for forgiving you”
Appreciate the goodness of your partner’s heart to forgive you. It takes love to overlook your wrong, don’t take that for granted
“Agree on a plan to keep the wrong from being repeated”
This is why it is important to know the history that led to you doing or saying wrong; you two get to agree on what to do to prevent it from happening again
“Seal it with a kiss”
Kiss as soon you are given an official forgiveness. Now that your partner has forgiven you, your lips will be well-received
“Make love”
Your spouse’s heart feels safe because you care, you feel pardoned; make passionate love to bring you two even closer. Make-up sex
“Do something sweet”
Go out of your way to make your partner smile: leave a love note under the pillow, buy her flowers or a gift, cook his favourite meal, take a photo of the both you happy and frame it, cater to each other
“Take your partner out on a date”
Go out on a romantic and memorable date. Look into each other’s eyes, melt each other’s hearts, dress up and go out for a night to remember
“Affirm each other’s love”
Tell each other how much you love and mean to each other, leave no doubt about your love, show that you two still have love, ‘you’re still the one that I love.
“Actually change”
The best kind of sorry is when you actually change. Let your partner see a new you
“Don’t keep a record of wrongs”
Don’t keep reminding each other of your wrongs, move past the mistakes

You will not fail in Marriage in JESUS NAME

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