Tag: marry

Posted in Marital

The kind of Men aChristian Woman Should not Marry

Posted on by Kofi Tutu

Don’t settle for less than God’s best. Too many Christian women today have ended up with the wrong person because impatience pushed them into an unhappy marriage. Please take my fatherly advice: You are much better off single than with the wrong guy!

Speaking of “wrong guys,” here are the top 10 men you should avoid when looking for a husband:

  1. THE UNBELIEVER:
    Please write 2 Corinthians 6:14 on a Post-it note and tack it on your computer at work. It says, “Do not be bound together with unbelievers; for what partnership have righteousness and lawlessness, or what fellowship has light with darkness?” (NASB). This is not an outdated religious rule. It is the Word of God for you today.
    Don’t allow a man’s charm, looks or financial success (or his willingness to go to church with you) push you to compromise what you know is right. “Missionary dating” is never a wise strategy. If the guy is not a born-again Christian, scratch him off your list. He’s not right for you. I’ve yet to meet a Christian woman who didn’t regret marrying an unbeliever.
  2. THE LIAR:
    If you discover that the man you are dating has lied to you about his past or that he’s always covering his tracks to hide his secrets from you, run for the nearest exit. Marriage must be built on a foundation of trust. If he can’t be truthful, break up now before he bamboozles you with an even bigger deception.
  3. THE PLAYBOY:
    I wish I could say that if you meet a nice guy at church, you can assume he’s living in sexual purity. But that’s not the case today. I’ve heard horror stories about single guys who serve on the worship team on Sunday but act like Casanovas during the week. If you marry a guy who was sleeping around before your wedding, you can be sure he will be sleeping around after your wedding.
  4. THE DEADBEAT:
    There are many solid Christian men who experienced marital failure years ago. Since their divorce, they have experienced the Holy Spirit’s restoration, and now they want to remarry. Second marriages can be very happy. But if you find out that the man you are dating hasn’t been caring for his children from a previous marriage, you have just exposed a fatal flaw. Any man who will not pay for his past mistakes or support children from a previous marriage is not going to treat you responsibly.
  5. THE ADDICT:
    Churchgoing men who have addictions to alcohol or drugs have learned to hide their problems—but you don’t want to wait until your honeymoon to find out that he’s a boozer. Never marry a man who refuses to get help for his addiction. Insist that he get professional help and walk away. And don’t get into a codependent relationship in which he claims he needs you to stay sober. You can’t fix him.
  6. THE BUM:
    I have a female friend who realized after she married her boyfriend that he had no plans to find steady work. He had devised a great strategy: He stayed home all day and played video games while his professional wife worked and paid all the bills. The apostle Paul told the Thessalonians, “If anyone is not willing to work, then he is not to eat, either” (2 Thess. 3:10). The same rule applies here: If a man is not willing to work, he doesn’t deserve to marry you.
  7. THE NARCISSIST:
    I sincerely hope you can find a guy who is handsome. But be careful: If your boyfriend spends six hours a day at the gym and regularly posts closeups of his biceps on Facebook, you have a problem. Do not fall for a self-absorbed guy. He might be cute, but a man who is infatuated with his appearance and his own needs will never be able to love you sacrificially, like Christ loves the church (Eph. 5:25). The man who is always looking at himself in the mirror will never notice you.
  8. THE ABUSER: Men with abusive tendencies can’t control their anger when it boils over. If the guy you are dating has a tendency to fly off the handle, either at you or others, don’t be tempted to rationalize his behavior. He has a problem, and if you marry him you will have to navigate his minefield every day to avoid triggering another outburst. Angry men hurt women—verbally and sometimes physically. Find a man who is gentle.
  9. THE MANCHILD: Call me old-fashioned, but I’m suspicious of a guy who still lives with his parents at age 35. If his mother is still doing his cooking, cleaning and ironing at that age, you can be sure he’s stuck in an emotional time warp. You are asking for trouble if you think you can be a wife to a guy who hasn’t grown up. Back away and, as a friend, encourage him to find a mentor who can help him mature.
  10. THE CONTROL FREAK:
    Some Christian guys today believe marriage is about male superiority. They may quote Scripture and sound super-spiritual, but behind the façade of husbandly authority is deep insecurity and pride that can morph into spiritual abuse. First Peter 3:7 commands husbands to treat their wives as equals. If the man you are dating talks down to you, makes demeaning comments about women or seems to squelch your spiritual gifts, back away now. He is on a power trip. Women who marry religious control freaks often end up in a nightmare of depression.

If you are a woman of God, don’t sell your spiritual birthright by marrying a guy who doesn’t deserve you. Your smartest decision in life is to wait for a man who is sold out to Jesus.

J. Lee Grady

Posted in Marital

Who should you marry?

Posted on by Kofi Tutu
  1. A Believer. As a Believer, You Must Marry A Born Again Christian John 3:3. A believer should marry a believer. An unbeliever should marry an unbeliever.

There is nobody that can love you in the true sense if the person has not genuinely given his/her life to Jesus. Your life could be at risk if you marry such a person

  1. He/She Must Be Of The Opposite Sex. Gay Marriage Is From The Pit Of Hell. The First Marriage Was Between A Man And A Woman Named ADAM And Eve, Not Between ADAM And Steve.
  2. He/She Must Be The Will Of God For You- Let God Lead You Before You Start A Relationship. Do not Lean On Your Own Understanding. Proverbs 19:14, Romans 8:14

One of the major ways to determine God’s will in marriage is through prayers. {Matt 26:41, 1 Thess 5:17} As soon as you are born again and getting mature for marriage, begin to pray
regularly for God to guide you. Do not take any step until you have prayed. The person proposing to you may be the most caring person you have ever seen but may also be an agent of
the devil sent to destroy your great destiny. God will guide you by his favour to the right partner if you act in obedience without gambling, or hustling on beauty, wealth, status, social or racial
dispositions.

  1. He/She Must Be Someone Who Accept Your Family: Anyone who claims to love you must accommodate the family you come from. It will be foolish of you to continue in courtship with someone who hates your family members. If he / she cannot
    extend the love he or she has for you to your family, then the acclaimed love is deceptive.
  2. He or She Must Be Someone Who Is Committed To The Word Of God Always And Do The Word Of God Not Just A Reader.
    He/She Must Be Someone Who Sees The Bible As The Final Authority

Stay away fromsomeone who flagrantly disregards God’s Word. Someone who smokes,drinks and/or commits immorality should not be considered at all formarriage. A Christian lady went ahead to marry a womanizer and alcoholicagainst my advice. She now regrets her decision because there have notbeen peace and joy in their marriage since they got married.

Marry a child ofGod! Don’t allow wrong people into your life if your dream is to be joyfully married. Never also go into marriage with the hope of changing your partner’s bad habits after wedding. Marriage may never change bad habits.

  1. He/She Must Be Someone You Are In Agreement With:
    You must complement and not contradict each other. If the relationship cannot give you peacenow because of your constant disagreements, it certainly cannot offer you one after your wedding. God cannot give you someone who will cause you high blood pressure or hypertension in marriage. It is better to break up a relationship with the wrong person than to head for disaster and tragedy in marriage. A broken courtship is better than a broken marriage.
  2. He/She Must Be A Man Or Woman Of Prayers. He/she prays without ceasing.
  3. He/She Must Be A Committed Member Of A Bible Believing Church
  4. He/She Must Be Someone Who Has Someone He/She Submits To Like A Pastor/Mentor.
  5. He/She Must Be Someone Who Fears God And Lives A Godly Life.
  6. He/She Must Be An Adult Not A Minor. He/she is mature physically, emotionally, intellectually, financially, socially and spiritually.
  7. You Must Be In Love With Him/Her. Never Force Yourself On Anybody. Getting married to someone who does not love you is the worst thing you can ever allow to happen to you. Forcing yourself on someone who does not love you is like sleeping with a snake.
  8. He/She Must Be In Love With You Too. Love is a choice. It is a decision. Don’t force anyone to love you. You may regret it for the rest of your life. If someone you love does not show any sign of interest or commitment after all your efforts to win his/her heart, let him or her go. Until you let go of the wrong person, you cannot find the right one.
  9. He/She Must Be Single Not Married Or A Divorcee. 1 Cor 7:10-11.
    God can never go against His word to lead you to marry a married man or woman whose spouse is still alive, as that will lead to polygamy. So any voice you hear instructing you to marry someone who is already married, can never be that of the SPIRIT OF GOD. Don’t obey it.God is not a home breaker. He is not an intruder. What God has joined together, let not man, (prophet, pastor, in-laws, sister, brother) put asunder.
  10. He/She Can Be A Christian Widow or Widower. 1 Cor 7:28
  11. He/She Can Come From Any Part Of The World. You Can Marry From Any Tribe As Long As He/She Is A Child Of God. Don’t Discriminate.
  12. He/She Must Possess The Fruit Of The Spirit. “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.” (Galatians 5:22-23)
  13. He/She Must Have A Job Or A Source Of Income.
  14. He/She Must Be Someone Who Believes In “No Divorce/No Re-Marriage” Because Marriage Is A Lifetime Commitment.
  15. He/She Must Be Someone Who Believes In Your Dreams/Calling & He/she Is Ready To Support You.
  16. He/She Must Be Someone Who Believes In SEXUAL PURITY.
    Sleeping with a girl that has not been handed over to you in marriage is robbery and sleeping with a man who is not your husband is prostitution. Put a limit to your intimacy so that you won’t fall into sexual sins. Sex before marriage will expose you to unwanted pregnancy, STDs, HIV/AIDS and turn you to the enemy of God. Many singles have jeopardized the hope of a glorious future by falling into sexual sins. Don’t join them.

May you not make a marital error in Jesus name

Thank you for reading! God bless you