Marital – Page 2

Talk about money in courtship

Posted on January 30, 2021 by Kofi Tutu

Money is one of the leading causes of divorce world-wide! Not facing reality in courtship is preparing for grand divorce in marriage!

For all the ladies who keep singing, “Money does not matter in marriage, it is love that matters!” I hope you’ve read the Bible passages that said “Money answereth all things.” Jesus was so holy and pure, a miracle worker with a burning passion to liberate the world, yet he always had money! Judas Iscariot was his treasurer!

To all the ladies who say “only vision matters” when choosing a spouse, some divorced women said something stupid like that years before they got divorced!

Yes, vision matters. A man without vision is a disaster going some where to happen! Marry a man with vision! Yes, don’t run after money, neither should you date Yahoo Boys but your Landlord won’t hear stories after marriage neither would manna drop from heaven after honey moon!

Talk about money!

How much do you both earn right now?
How do you plan to increase your income to accommodate your growing family in marriage? What you earn at the beginning of marriage may not sustain you when kids start coming.
How long do you want to earn salaries before starting your own business?
How will your vision generate money to take care of family needs?
Who will take care of bills in the home?
Who will pay for feeding and clothing?
What are your yearly financial goals for your marriage?
How much will you send to your parents monthly?
How much will you be saving every month?
What will the savings be used for?
How can you both work together on your vision to make financial profits?
For those going into full time ministry, how will you feed, clothe your family and pay bills? Thoroughly discuss this and come to agreement before heading the altar!

Lack of financial agreement is the reason many marriages are in crises today.

You have lots of serious issues to trash out in courtship, you shouldn’t have time for sex for God’s sake! Do you understand what marriage is about at all?

Both of you should read books on understanding vision, financial freedom, goal setting and agreement in marriage, they will help a lot. Don’t yourself up for financial disappointment in marriage. Prepare well, so you won’t end up in shame! May the good Lord grant you understanding.

Thanks for reading. God bless you. Cheers!
© Seun Oladele (a repost).

Marital

Five ways to know that a guy is really serious for marriage

Posted on January 30, 2021 by Kofi Tutu

About a week ago, a lady approached me and asked me how she would know that a guy is really serious for marriage. She said that a guy is coming for her and she is worried if the guy is serious or one of those hit and run guys.

So, I told her some things or rather how she will know that a guy is really serious for marriage and not one of those sex predators or time wasters guys.

Maybe as a lady, you are in this kind of situation. You are in a relationship with a guy but you are not sure if this guy is really serious for marriage or has come to waste your time and drive away potential life partners. This article is for you.

In this article, what I intend to do is to show you how you can spot a guy that is serious for marriage and wants to walk down the aisle with you. You really need to take this seriously because your time, prime, resources and potential life partners are at stake.

One wrong guy in a relationship with you will waste your time, resources and drive away or block other guys that really want to settle down with you.

So, how will you know that guy that’s promising you heaven and is serious for marriage?

He will introduce you to important people in his life

If a guy is serious with you, he will waste no time in introducing you to people that matter to him, his pastor, mentors, family, colleagues, friends etc.

You have being dating a guy for some time now, say 1 year or 2 years and you don’t know who his parents are, you don’t know any of his siblings, colleagues or friends, and whenever you bring up the issue, he will change the topic, Aunty be careful, na express you dey go!

He will also to want to meet important people in your life

A guy that is serious for marriage will not only introduce you to important people in his life but will also try to meet important people in your own life so as to make things official and formal.

When you are in a relationship with a guy that’s hide and seek with you, whenever you bring up the issue of him coming to meet your parents, he divert the conversation or run off, then you should know that he isn’t serious and you shouldn’t waste your time with a guy that for a year or 2 years he has refused to meet your parents or important people in your life. Don’t do that.

He will stay

For many guys, their number one aim for entering into a relationship is to have sex. Some of them will tell you, “If you love me prove it.” Some of them once you tell them that there will be nothing like sex until after marriage, they will zoom off without looking back. Some of them will threaten you that if you don’t have sex with them, they will break up with you and all that.

But when you tell a guy that there will be nothing like sex until after marriage and he stays, he doesn’t disturb you about sex, and he doesn’t threaten to leave if you should fail to give him sex, that may be a sign that he is serious about getting married to you.

As a lady, one thing you need to know is that sex doesn’t keep a man. If a man doesn’t want to stay with you, give him all sex styles in the world, doggy style, hossy style, scorpion style, cat style, etc., he will not stay. A guy that wants you will stay with or without sex.

He will include you in his plans and major decisions

When a guy begins to include you in plans and major decisions in life, you should know that he is seeing you in his future but when you are with a guy that hides things from you, he never tells you his next move or actions or his whereabouts, he just shows up and disappears anytime he wants, that’s guy that is not seeing you in his future.

A man wants to marry a woman that will be useful in his future, so when a guy includes you in his plans and decisions, you should think that he’s considering you useful to his future. We don’t go about sharing our plans with anyone that cares to listen but with those we consider important to use. The point is, when a guy includes you in his plans and decisions, he is seeing the future with you.

Subject everything to prayers

Prayer remains the master key. So, for your time not to be wasted, for you not to chase away potential life partners, for your heart not to be broken, subject everything to God prayers.

Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you:(Matthew 7:7 KJV)

The secret things belong unto the Lord our God: but those things which are revealed belong unto us and to our children for ever, that we may do all the words of this law.(Deuteronomy 29:29 KJV)

You are in a relationship with a guy and you are not sure if this guy is God’s will or even serious for marriage talk less of being God’s will, you have some prayers to do.

You shall not miss it in marriage!

Thanks for reading
© Okolie Samuel

Marital

10 ways to avoid sex before marriage

Posted on January 28, 2021 by Kofi Tutu

Sometime ago, I was anchoring a question and answer program on WhatsApp and someone asked me how she can avoid having sex before marriage. For the benefit of others, I decided to write an article on it.

Let me start by stating that sex itself is NOT a sin. Sex was created by God. As a matter of fact, God created us with sexual organs because He wants us to have sex. Sex is a gift from God to us BUT it’s to be enjoyed by ONLY legally married COUPLE. The only time God expects us to have sex is when we are married not before.

Premarital and extramarital sex are sins. They may be fun but not honorable. If you notice those two words, one carries the prefix “pre” and the other “extra” and what’s that telling us sex before(pre) or outside of marriage(extra) is not right. Sex is meant to be only in marriage (marital).

Avoiding sex before marriage, not just because it’s the right thing to do, will save you from lots of avoidable ugly experiences, guilty conscience, STDs, unwanted pregnancy, stagnation, death, God’s judgment, abortion, etc. It pays to avoid sex before marriage. You will make God happy and at the same time save yourself from troubles. So, close up and zip up.

Hebrews 13:4 says, “Marriage is honorable in all, and the bed undefiled; but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.” Avoiding sex before marriage is an honorable something to do. Maybe you are in a relationship right now and you sincerely desire to maintain sexual purity, to avoid sex before marriage, this article is meant for you. I present to you 10 ways you can avoid sex before marriage.

Decide

In Daniel 1:8 the Bible says that Daniel purposed or decided in his heart that he won’t defile himself. Likewise, you have to make a decision. Life is all about decisions. Nothing gets done without a definite decision.

Daniel was able to overcome because he decided. So, you and your partner have to decide too that you guys are not going to have sex, you’ve to make up your mind that you will not have sex till marriage. That’s the foundation you are going to lay every other thing on.

Guide Your Mind

Proverbs 4:23 says, “Guide your heart with all diligence because out of it flows the issues of life.” Your mind is the gateway to your life. What goes on in your mind determines what goes on in your life.

So, guide your heart from pollution, watch the things you fill your mind with, watch the music you listen to, the videos you watch, the things you read etc. These things have the power to influence your life.

Mind Your Conversations

In Colossian 3:8 the Bible says that we should put off every filthy communication out of our mouths. Avoid using obscene words, erotic words or suggestive words. Avoid sex chatting. Mind your use of words. In short, avoid words that can turn you on.

Renew Your Mind

Romans 12:2 says that we should renew our minds because that’s only when we will be able to judge rightly. When you are always horny or having an erection, you have been filling your mind with sexual stuff, your mind needs renewing.

Watch, listen and read positive things, mostly importantly the Word of God. Listen to nice songs, sermons. That’s how to renew your mind. Remember, it’s garbage in garbage out. It’s what you fill your mind with that it will process and give you back in return. You can’t fill your mind with negativity and expecting to live positively.

Avoid Too Much Closeness

The Bible asked a question in Proverbs that can a man take fire in his bosom will not be burnt? If you don’t want fire to burn you, don’t go close.

Avoid too much closeness. It can spark into flames. Men aren’t the only one that lust, women too. Avoid too much unnecessary closeness in any form or shape physically or online.

Avoid Staying In Secluded Place Alone

Sin thrives in secret very much. To avoid having sex, try as much as possible to avoid staying alone in a secluded place together. If visiting him or her will make you both to fall into it, stop visiting, let your meetings be in an open place.

Don’t Cohabit

Cohabiting means living together when you guys aren’t married. Cohabiting for whatever reason is not right. That’s actually a sin. We should avoid every appearance of evil.

You are only expected to live together after you are married not before you are married unless of course if sexual purity is not your thing. Body is not iron it must react especially when emotion is involved. It’s a harmattan fire! You can’t keep a goat and yam in the same house and expects nothing to happen.

Stop Collecting Or Requesting For Money

I’m talking to our beautiful ladies now. For some guys, giving you money or anything equals giving them right to ask for sex. So, don’t ask and rarely collect when they give you.

When you keep asking or collecting money, when they ask for sex you’ll feel obligated especially when they start blackmailing you emotionally, “After all I’ve done for you,” “After giving you this or that,” you get my point?

As For Grace In time past, sexual temptations, immorality and perversions are not rampant like it is now. You turn here and there sex. In the midst of all these, you need God’s enabling power(grace) to come out victorious.

The urge to sin is stronger than your will. It’s not of him that willeth but of God that showeth mercy. You have decided many times not to have sex but you keep failing into it despite your decisions. It’s good to make decision but much more than that, you need grace. So, ask for God’s grace. You can’t do it on your own.

Avoid Getting Intimate

Don’t eat the food while it’s still on the fire. You’re the same person that will eat it when it’s cooked. So, avoid kissing, romancing, touching, smooching, unnecessary hugging etc., these are launching pad to sex!

Let me conclude by saying that, maintaining sexual purity pays, it will give you peace of mind, it will save you from troubles and more importantly you will make God happy.

Thanks for reading.
© Okolie Samuel

Source:Gnews.com

Marital

The benefits of making love in the morning

Posted on January 28, 2021 by Kofi Tutu

It affirms to your spouse “Even in this new day, I love you”
It starts the day with the right tone and warmth
It is a good work out, makes your blood run after hours of rest
It releases feel good hormones that carry on through out the day
It is an opportunity to make a new memory as a couple that will stick in your mind through out the day
It eclipses any mess or dryness of yesterday, if yesterday you two were not OK
It makes conversations that follow after easier to have
It allays any doubts in your spouse as you two part for the day. Some spouse’s wonder “Am I still loved?” because they can’t remember the last time they were touched
It charges you up for the day. Your performance at work will be better
It reduces the power of temptation. After you have been sexually satisfied by your spouse in the morning before you leave the house, it is difficult to desire another out there

Source:Gnews.com

Marital

10 scenes your child/children should never witness

Posted on January 27, 2021January 27, 2021 by Kofi Tutu

You and your spouse sleeping on different beds and in different rooms in the same house. It scares them
You and your spouse insulting each other and using curse words. They start to respect you less
You beating up your spouse. Your son is exposed to the evil side of masculinity, your daughter grows up wary of men
You and your spouse fighting. Your children will begin to feel less safe at home
You and your spouse attacking your child, not believing in your child, talking down at your child. He/she will psychologically run away from home
You and your spouse competing against each other. They grow up thinking family is not unity
You having an affair.
Unfaithfulness hurts children the most, they just don’t get to say it because they don’t have a voice
You disrespecting your husband. Your son will learn to be defensive and your daughter will learn to be spiteful
You abdicating your responsibility as a parent or spending less time at home. Your child will feel unloved
You and your spouse giving each other silent treatment, banging doors, being rude to each other, walking away when the other shows up in the room. It breaks the heart of your young one

Marital

Things you shouldn’t tell anyone

Posted on January 24, 2021 by Kofi Tutu

In a relationship, whether married or still in courtship, there
are things you should not tell another person. You never
know who will be the Judas over your relationship. There are
high secrets you have to keep only to yourself.

1. Don’t tell anybody how weak your partner is. Someone
may use it against you/them.

2. Don’t tell people how much you quarrel with your partner,
make them see it as perfect from outside while you settle
issues from inside.

3. Don’t tell even a best friend how much you get as pocket
allowance from your husband, if they ask tell them that he’s
giving more than you expected.

4. Men don’t tell your friends how good your wife is in bed,
that’s a secret between you and your wife.

5. Don’t ever tell your mother the way he or she is acting in
the marriage, you won’t like the outcome if she’s a jealous
Mother in law.

6. Ladies, a friend may be eyeing your hubby and that’s why
you shouldn’t tell them what moves him most.

7. Even your pastor is not worthy to know how many times
you quarrel with your husband, most of them will use it as
sermon. Just talk to God alone.

8. Don’t tell the children that their father/mother is a bad
person. It can make them hate them.

9. Don’t tell anybody your partner’s past mistakes, it is too
risky for your marriage.

10. Don’t tell anyone to try seducing your partner to prove
their loyalty. They may end up winning their love..

I HOPE THE VOLUME IS LOUD AND CLEAR?

Marital

How to win the heart of a man

Posted on January 24, 2021 by Kofi Tutu

A few days ago, I wrote a letter to the confused aunties encouraging them to look out for men that have vision and direction in life, a man that knows where he is going to, a man that you can be a helpmeet to, and not just any man that is an accident waiting to happen.

A lot of you were so excited, you wanted every man to read that message. Well, a lot of them did and are trying to be more serious with life and their purpose now.

You know there is always a flip side to this kinda thing, so today we will be looking at the other side of the coin.

Sister, I hope you know that you don’t deserve a man with vision if you are going to become a liability to him tomorrow. Oh Yes, every man with vision needs an asset as a wife, not a liability.

You know that statement, “Behind every successful man there is a woman.” You remember it right? Well, that statement is missing important texts.

Let me help you insert the missing texts. “Behind every successful man, there is a woman who is an asset to him”.

Aunty, what do you bring to the table of that relationship or marriage? Are you just there to take and take and keep taking. Is it just sex that you are good at?

Can your man invite you to his company dinner or function and feel confident that you won’t disgrace his generation because you can hold an intellectual discussion.

Or is the only thing you know about is the latest make up style or the new episode on Zee world series. Are you just a beautiful face on an empty head?

A man with vision also needs a woman with a vision. Your visions are meant to be in alignment, complimenting each other, and that way both of you can work as a team to ensure that you build a life that will change other lives and bring fulfillment to both of you.

According to Basiru Sunday Amuneni, A man with vision needs a woman that can:

Searched and send him link(s) for job applications if he needs a change of job.
Do some independent research for him on something he is working on.
Hook him up with a client or get him a gig if he is into private practice; whether he is an MC, Speaker, Coach, DJ, Comedian, Welder, Architect, Editor, Musician, Poet, Banker or Lawyer.
Refer him to a business idea or prospect.
Help him with sorting out the documentation for submission of the company profile for a contract he is bidding for.
Tell somebody about his business hoping they would patronize him.
Seek opportunities and refer him to short courses, seminars, fellowships, and volunteer positions that would help his professional or business growth.
Put in a word for him in a situation where you could influence a decision in his favour.
Buy him fuel for the same car he uses to spin you around town, but you sit-in and point in admiration at flashier cars on the road.
Visited his office or workplace even on the field to encourage him.

=====================================

Aunty, don’t be a liability. The best relationships are between two givers willing to give their all to the one they love. Both are willing to do all they can to see that the one they love is growing and becoming a better vision of themselves.

Nobody wants a liability that is just focused on what they will get. This could be the reason all the men you have come across have left you because you aren’t helping in any way. It’s only sex that you can offer, so they collect it and move on.

I know some of you will say I have done this for some guys but they still left. See eh, any man that has a vision and common sense will not see a woman that is a suitable helper for him and let her go, any man that does that hmm, he has an internal problem caused by his village people. So his case is different.

This is not meant to be one sided. If your partner is not adding value to you, that’s an unequal yoke and you are not meant to be yoked with such a person.

Find someone willing and ready to build and grow with you.

Cheers.

If you know anyone that needs to see this tag them on this post.

Relationship Coach.
Profit Eneh

Marital

Anger made me lost a woman I truly loved

Posted on January 22, 2021 by Kofi Tutu

A wearied Husband shared his pains with us some months ago which I’ll gladly share with you here today to help keep you from unnecessary pains in marriage.

===
His story goes thus:

===
Wifey and I had a little argument over breakfast on Monday morning while we were both preparing for the day’s job.

My anger was with the way she spread the butter on the bread that morning, it was quite rough and not pleasing to the eyes though I corrected her with my voice sounding like a thunder all over the room but I never knew it would lead to this, if I had known, I would have overlooked and ate the bread without uttering a word after all, I ate it still.

Hearing the way I rose my voice at her, really made her mad and she left the dinning without having breakfast that morning and off she went to work without me that day not even saying goodbye to each other.

I was mad, she was mad too and our mistake was that none of us was willing to come to like terms…

===
We returned from work that evening without talking to each other, we had dinner separately and went to bed without exchanging pleasantries.

===
Tuesday came and went so was Wednesday and Thursday morning.

Thursday evening at dinner, she said HI but I was too proud to respond so I mumbled on my meal and left the table hurriedly but all along, she was simply smiling at her “Baby Husband “.

===
Wifey is truly a great beauty to behold. Her smiles melts every tough heart so in a bid to avoid “falling my own hands “, I hurriedly left the table…

If at all we’ll end this war, she’ll be the one to say sorry, not me.
I won’t let her beauty lure me into saying sorry – these I murmured as I left the dinning to the bedroom…

She kept smiling.

===
She got into the room and straight she went into the bathroom, while bathing she kept singing.

If we were in good terms, I’d have sing along since that was my favorite song but my pride robbed me the opportunity to end the drama I had with her.
Before she could get to bed that night I was fast asleep…

===
It was some minutes past 3am that Friday morning when I felt her hands on my body tapping me non stop. I quickly pushed her hands away and got myself covered with the blanket…

Sincerely, I thought she was tapping me just to get into Jerusalem, I never knew that would be the last time I’ll feel her touch.

I fell asleep in the process and woke up fifteen minutes past 7am and I quickly dived into the bathroom cos we were almost late for work, I woke up got dressed, had breakfast and Wifey was fast asleep still, my pride never gave me the opportunity to talk to her so I left her in bed and off I went to work.

===
Long story cut short, I returned home on Friday evening meeting virtually everything at the same spot I left it that morning.

The doors were wide open, the table was left unkept…

A cold chill ran through my vein…

===
I dived for the stairs, having my Wife in heart…

On getting to the room, the door was wide open, Wifey was still in bed: at the same position I left her before leaving the house that morning.

My phone fell from my hand as I muttered indistinctly rushing towards her…

“Baby” I stuttered as my hands went all over her…

Her body was cold.

I never knew when I peed on my trousers…

I placed my head on her chest and realized she wasn’t breathing…

I shouted the name of Jesus at the top of my voice as I brought her closer to me having her in my arms.

My Baby was gone already.
There was no life in her.
Her body was terribly cold…

It was still like a movie to me not until her body was being laid to rest: at that moment I realized my Wife died on my bed…

I couldn’t cry yet I still couldn’t laugh. My head was spinning like I was gonna go mad anytime soon…

I feel terrible on the inside, if only I could turn back the hands of time…

===
Wifey was asthmatic: when she was tapping me that morning, she was having a crisis which only her inhaler could solve.

She was probably tapping me to help get it for her but my pride kept me away…

I lost the Woman I truly love to the cold hands of death carelessly.

Ah! If there was no quarrel that morning my beautiful Wife will still be among the living today.

It’s been three cold weeks she left.
My world is shattered!

I am void of love if only I could turn back the hands of time, I would have right my wrong!

He broke down in tears…

===
He was truly sorry but that never changed the fact that his beloved Wife was dead…

Consoling him was really difficult because his tears was great.

===
Bottom Line: Dear Courting and Married people, never should you let the night fall without settling that misunderstanding between your spouse and you.

Never give the Devil a chance to prove himself in your home and relationship.

Your spouse is your partner, not your competitor.

No one has ever been awarded for being the best grudge keeper.

Wise people keep their home and relationship, careless people gives the Devil a chance to prove himself.

Choose wisdom over anger today…

===

Pen Down *

Marital

How to keep your spouse from being insecure

Posted on January 21, 2021 by Kofi Tutu

KEEP NO SECRETS
Secrets make your partner feel uneasy and suspicious of you. Be open and transparent
DON’T FLIRT WITH OTHERS
Many flirt and argue it is not cheating as long as they don’t have sex with others. But flirting is the first level of cheating, why speak and write to others things you should only be saying to your partner? Your partner will think if you can flirt, may be you are or will do more unfaithful things
SAY ‘I LOVE YOU’ OFTEN
Affirm your partner. Tell your partner of your love when you end a phone call, when you kiss, out of the blue, in the middle of a conversation. If you affirm your love less or you stay too long without saying it or your partner must ask you ‘Do you love me?’ for you to say it; your partner will become insecure
KNOW EACH OTHER’S FRIENDS AND FAMILY
When you are known to each other’s close bonds it acts as security, that what you have is something serious and surrounded by the closest people in life. When your partner only spends time with you and feels hidden from your family and friends, he/ she will begin to feel like a secret love whose position in your life and heart is not cemented
DON’T COMPLIMENT ANOTHER PERSON MORE THAN YOU COMPLIMENT YOUR SPOUSE
It’s OK to give genuine compliments to people and appreciate others, but your partner should be the target of your lavish compliments. When you talk highly about others and praise them above your partner, your partner will feel little in your eyes
KEEP YOUR EX AT A DISTANCE
An ex can become a big threat in your love. Your partner needs to feel safe by you keeping your ex at a distance. It’s OK to keep contact with your ex if you must, perhaps if you have a child together or maybe even remain distant friends. But if your ex still makes moves on you, kill any form of communication
DECLARE YOUR LOVE PUBLICLY
Public display of love offers security; when you introduce your partner as “This is my man/ woman/ husband/ wife” Don’t let your partner feel relegated to the level of other people. If you are a couple act like couples, be seen cozy together, people should assume you are a couple even before you tell them. Either you are in or not, don’t make the excuse that you are keeping your partner a secret because people will try to come between you two or you are shielding yourself from shame and ridicule in case you two break up
APOLOGIZE WHEN YOU WRONG
Saying sorry makes your partner feel you care about his/ her feelings and makes your partner feel safe
EXPLAIN YOURSELF
Don’t wait for your partner to force you to explain yourself, don’t frustrate your partner by making decisions without involving each other. You shouldn’t be hard to figure out. Let your partner in on your thoughts, explain why you do what you do, be easy to love
KEEP YOUR SPOUSE AS A PRIORITY
Life will place so many demands on you; but your partner, your family should feel top of your priority list, not easily pushed away and only thought of when you are bored, horny or when it’s convenient
SPEND ALOT OF TIME TOGETHER
Whatever you value you allocate time for. The more you spend time with your partner whether physically, online or one on one, the more secure your partner will be
ALERT YOUR PARTNER WHEN YOU ARE ABOUT TO GET BUSY
In as much as you want to spend alot of time with your partner, it will not always be possible. Sometimes life will get busy; when it does, prepare your partner. Alert your partner when and why you will be unreachable. Keep your partner in the know on how your schedule is. And even when busy, make that few seconds phonecall or send that brief text saying “I miss you. I love you”
CALL EACH OTHER A LOVE NAME
Find a sweet name to call each other, a name that you will not call any other person by; something like My love, Honey, Baby, Sweetheart
DON’T HANDLE YOUR PHONE LIKE A SUSPECT
If you have nothing to hide you hide nothing. When with your partner don’t put your phone on silent, don’t switch it off, don’t walk away to answer phone calls away from your partner; this only fuels suspicion. Allow your partner to answer your calls when you can’t, to hear you speak with others on phone. Let your partner feel you have nothing to hide
DON’T BE DEFENSIVE
When your partner confronts you or asks you questions he/ she is entitled to get answers to; don’t become defensive or make your partner feel he/ she is at fault for asking. You are to be accountable to your partner. Only suspects become defensive and make their partner appear the bad person when their partner asks questions
DON’T CHANGE FOR THE WORSE
Your partner chose you, married you because you treat him/ her good. Now that you are a couple, years later, don’t change, don’t take your partner for granted, don’t become casual and insensitive, don’t stop treating your partner as someone special
DON’T MAKE YOUR PARTNER FEEL REPLACED
Now that you’ve stayed together for long, don’t be lured by someone new. Your attention shouldn’t start targeting a new wonder in your life. No one should take your partner’s place
KEEP YOUR PARTNER’S SECRETS
When your partner confides in you don’t break his/ her trust. Keeping secrets shows security
TELL OFF OTHER SUITORS
When other people try to break up the two of you, tell them off. Don’t let your partner fight the person trying to tempt you, you be the one to tell that person to keep off
DEFEND YOUR SPOUSE
Defend your partner’s name, keep your partner’s honor. Stand up for your partner when he/ she is being talked badly about by your family, friends or the public. Let your partner find in you a soldier to ride with through thick and thin
MAINTAIN A HEALTHY SEX LIFE
It is scary when the person you are married to and faithful to no longer wants to touch you or make love to you. It is the surest way for your spouse to feel insecure, thinking you must be getting sex from someone else. Don’t let each other feel this way, find ways to spice up sex, if the bedroom has become boring

Marital

12 things you must know before getting married

Posted on January 21, 2021 by Kofi Tutu

No matter how posh your spouse is, just remember that one day, they’ll use the toilet and may not remember to flush it well. Yes you’ll see his/her faeces. Does that sound nice?
As much as you both will smell nice to occasions with glamourous apparels, sometimes you’d wake up to their bad breaths and body odour! They won’t always smell nice.
Your wife during dating wore her best panties. In marriage, you might see more of torn panties, and shame won’t even catch her. Be ready, that your hubby who changed boxer everyday during dating days might be wearing one for a week in marriage.
For men with blown egos, one day your wife will challenge, beat her hand to her chest, and you won’t do anything. Lol. Ntor!
Some days you’d fight with your spouse all through the day, but you’ll be forced to apologise even when you’re not at fault because you’ll be horny at night and can’t just hold it. Konji will humble your ego.
Your seraphic and sanctimonious spouse who you hardly saw any fault in, after honeymoon might be the most annoying thing ever. E dey clear for eyes sometimes. lol
As a man who’s all passionate about sex now, you can’t wait to marry. A time will come in marriage, she’d walk around naked and your dick won’t even erect. “Young woman abeg let me rest I’m tired..”
Your wife will provoke you and you’d reject food, thinking she’d beg, and she’d just walk away and go to bed. Las las, you’ll hide and go and eat. That’s what we call trimming your ego. Holds laugh
Your spouse might love you, but you’ll have to deal with the reality that there might be one of your siblings they won’t really like sha.
There might be times you’ll wake up and feel like, “how did I even marry this person”. You’ll feel like you just want to be, not because they necessarily did anything wrong o. But guess what? No exit door.
Be ready, what used to trip you about your spouse might wane with time. Marriage comes with a lot of rediscovery and plethora of phases.
When you have kids, sometimes you’ll just be tired. You’ll feel like taking a break from parenting. As in, you’ll just want to throw them into your neighbor’s house. But no escape for you. They are products of your orgasm.

(Jara)
At some point, you’ll be feeling your spouse is the most amazing person in the world till you meet someone else who is 200% better than them. Marriage isn’t about having the best, but building your best.

So are you ready mentally and emotionally?

Your marriage is what you make it to be. Enjoy your home. You will not fail in Marriage in Jesus name

Author unknown

Marital

Seven things that cannot stop you from getting a marriage partner.

Posted on January 20, 2021 by Kofi Tutu

In my daily counselling & interactions with many single guys and ladies, I see alot of things many of them are thinking and afraid of that can make them become ‘left behind’ when it comes to getting a man/lady to marry. I want to point out 7 things that cannot stop you or prevent you from getting your own marriage partner.

Many atimes, our society makes it look like, this things are barriers to getting a life partner, but I can tell you that, so many people who are married now had one or two of these things, and yet they got married. In fact, many of them are rightly and wonderfully married and are enjoying their marriage. Come with me as we see the seven things that can’t stop you from getting married.

SPIRITUALITY: One of the erroneous beliefs in the mind of many singles is that, spirituality is a barrier to finding a life partner. Many ladies feel , if they are ‘too spiritual’ , guys will not want to marry them. They feel, if you are a church girl or Jesus’ girl, you won’t get a guy to marry you, and you see how many ladies who were once vibrant for the Lord began to lower their spiritual standards and mixing up carnality with their lifestyle just to be able to win a guy by all means. There are many spiritual brothers too, who are becoming cold spiritually because they feel all ladies want a ‘happening guy’.

The truth is this, so many people who are wayward, lukewarm, carnal, etc still admire spiritually sound guys and ladies. Don’t enter spiritual coma just because you are looking for a life partner. Jesus still have spiritual, yet slaying daughters/sons of His that He can give to spiritual people to be married in holy matrimony

2: PROSPERITY: God’s blessings and prosperity has nothing to do with your age. There are young ladies who are blessed by God in their single days, and people tell them to hide the blessings so as to see a suitor. For example, they tell you, if you are a single lady, even if God bless you with a car, never drive; so that you will not intimidate guys and send them away from you. Hear this lady, any guy you get by hidding God’s blessings in your life, you must be ready to keep hidding God’s prosperity in your life to keep him in marriage. The prosperity of God in your life can’t stop you from getting married. It only depends on how you handle it.

VIRGINITY: Another lie many singles believe is that, if you are still a virgin, you might not get a good man/lady to marry you. I am aware that many guys scorn virginity on social media, but don’t mind them. Many of them wish they are the first that will ‘ open the gate’ of their wives. There are people who married as virgins at 23, 25 and there are people who married as virgins at age 30, 35 and more. There are many single ladies who are being lured into a lifestyle of sexual recklessness now, just because their friends are telling them that, before you can get a guy to marry you, you must get rid of your virginity first. Young virgin lady, never buy that lie! If you do, you will regret it! Myself and my Queen got married as virgins. Our virginity did not hinder us from meeting each other.

4: DISABILITY: There are singles who have written themselves off and losing the hope of getting someone to marry them because of one Physical disability or the other they are having. May be you are a starmmerer , may be you have partial deafness, or you are dumb, you have hunch back, you have visual impediment, speech impediment, or you are on a wheelchair. Think not that you cannot get marry because of any of this Physical challenges you have. It is true that, such Physical challenges can limit your chances of getting a marriage partner on time because so many people have the mentality that they can’t marry someone with any form of Physical challenges. But I can assure you that, there are so many people who will find you irresistible and fit for them to be married to them. Only the dead cannot marry. Look beyond your Physical challenges, and develop yourself. There is someone looking for exactly You! I know a blind man who is married. I know a lady on a wheelchair who is married and she has 4 lovely Children. I know many people using crutches who are married. Disability is not inability to be married. Thou shall be married!

VICINITY: Don’t ever think that, you can’t see someone to marry until you travel out. There are guys and ladies in U.S, in South Africa, in Canada who are yet to see who to marry and there are people in remote villages who have many suitors to choose from. That’s one of the ironies of life. A marriage partner is not from abroad but from above. If you are led to travel or change location, there is nothing bad in it. But stop living in 6 states within a year just because you are thinking where you are is what is affecting you from getting a life partner. There is no where you are living now that God can’t cause your path to cross the path of your partner.
DECENT DRESSING: Don’t ever think that, dressing well will stop you from getting a right spouse to marry you. I see so many singles, especially ladies, becoming mad women all in the name of dressing to attract Mr.Right. Many now wear rags all in the name of ‘positioning’ and becoming ‘visible’ for Mr.Right. If you think it is by revealing your breasts, cleavage, laps, back and bumbum that men will come to propose marriage to you, you are wrong! Many of them will rush to you ,but their aim is to ‘eat’ you rush rush. You will just be a sex objects to satisfy their sexual urge.
We still have discipline guys and ladies who dress well and they are getting married. Stop posting pictures where you are dressed as if you are undressing. What are your breasts doing outside in public gaze? Are you that desperate? There are many discipline men like me who are still fascinated by ladies who dressed modestly. It was one of the things that attracted my Queen to me. Decent dressing cannot stop you from getting the right person to marry, indecent dressing can do that.

7: BODY STATISTICS: Wether you are tall or short does not matter. Wether your breasts are small or voluminous does not matter. Wether you are fat or thin does not matter. There is someone looking for your size! There are men who will never marry small breasted ladies, they want it BIG! On the other hand, there are men who are not going to marry ladies with big breasts, they are looking for ladies who have it SMALL! No matter your lots, someone is interested in your kind. Stopping killing yourself over what you can’t change. If you feel you want to shed weight, please do. If you feel you want to add weight, please do. But things you don’t have power and control over, don’t overstress yourself over them. No matter how you look, there is someone who looks like you and he/she is married now. So, your wedding day is coming too.

I hope this encourage someone reading, keep hope alive. Don’t compromise your faith and standard of purity. Don’t allow anything to bring fear to you. Be hopeful! Be expectant! Be preparing! Keep excelling! Remember, none of these seven (7) things can stop you from getting married.

You can share to bless someone. Share, please, don’t plagiarize it.

Written by:.

Marital

Handling multiple marriage proposals

Posted on January 20, 2021 by Kofi Tutu

We see marriage proposals happening every now and then with different carnival-like display, dramatic and creative approach being displayed by guys/brothers of marriageable age. We see where two or more brothers/guys will ask for a lady’s hand in marriage.

Please, note that I am aware of many cultures and ways marriage proposals are done in our modern days. But I am more concerned about ladies getting it right and not hooking up with a wrong person for marriage. It is not how romantic or modernized a proposal is that determines the success of the marital journey. It is how well you get it right through God and the right knowledge to choose with spiritual eyes and understanding.

Let me remind you that we have different people in the world and whoever you marry determines a lot about your life, future, career, health and most importantly, your eternity.

We have the following categories of men in the marriage ocean to choose from:

(1) Destiny Destroyers: This is describing someone who is not created and ordained for you but organised by the devil-like Amnon (2 Samuel 13) and Delilah. A child of God that wants peace in marriage, who wants to enjoy the marital journey and not endure it should be aware that an unbeliever, a backslider, a divorcee or already married man is not meant for you.

This category of men need salvation and the grace to be saved comes from God only, not an individual. If you get married to a child of perdition, your life will be doomed and sentenced to agony. The end of sorrow and pain in the journey may never be soonest. Joshua 23:11-13

(2) Destiny Neutralizers: With this set of men, your beautiful life and destiny get neutralized when you hook up with him. This man will make your life and destiny ineffective. Whatever vision you carry, he will not support. In fact, he will make sure you are incapable of achieving great things. He will not be supportive for you to advance in a career, academic and any professional attainment. Because he is insecure, he will feel threatened with any progressive step you want to take. He will not believe in your purpose in life and every effort to move forward will be hindered by him because he will be envious of your effort to move the family forward. You can see that this kind of person is dangerous to partner with through the journey of life. Ecclesiastes 4:9

(3) Destiny Retrogressing/Stagnating Agent: This kind of person is all out to put you on a spot by draining every potential and virtue in you. He wants to take your money and make you a servant forever. He wants you to be worse off like Shechem in Genesis 34:1-2, that took away an important aspect of the life of Dinah the daughter of Leah and Jacob.

(4) Destiny Promoters/Boosters: This is a man that God has ordained to be a blessing to you and vice versa, the one you will live to demonstrate your ministry of help as given to you by God in Genesis 2:18. He is the man that will be your head and not your headache. He is the man that will get your back and not your hunch back. He is the man that will give you peace and not tear your life into pieces. He is the man that will value you and not drag you in the mud. He is the man that will support you and vice versa. He is the man you can submit too. He will love Christ and love you as well. He will want to serve God with you and he will be genuine with the right motive.

In making a godly and good choice of who to marry, you must examine any brother in the line with categories of men in the world today as listed above. That will confirm whether you want to give his proposal any consideration or not. Your prayer should be to get married to a destiny booster. May the Lord lead you aright and may you be willing to obey God in Jesus name.

Please note that we are not talking about proposals to be a girlfriend or a mere dating partner here, we are talking about someone saying ‘Be my wife’ and ‘Let us spend the future and rest of our lives together.’

No matter the number of brothers asking for your hand in marriage, know fully that God is not an author of confusion. It may be one of them or none of them.

For God is not the author of confusion, but of peace, as in all churches of the saints. 1 Corinthians 14:33

When you have a serious proposal from many brothers, prayerfully apply the following wisely because wisdom is profitable to direct: Ecclesiastes 10:10

– Keep calm, don’t be in haste to respond to any of them.

– Don’t appear and behave desperately. Such attitude sends the wrong signal to the guy and makes them feel you are at his mercy.

– Don’t appear to be a cheap girl even if God has revealed any of them to you in the past. You still need further confirmation and conviction.

– Avoid making any demand on any of them to determine the highest bidder, don’t start asking for money and gifts or asking for different outings to expensive places and draining their pockets. That is very ungodly.

– Don’t sound rude to any of them, behave wisely and respectfully. There is a tendency to behave unruly to any of them you have reservations about.

– No sentiment in your heart and action. Remove every skeleton in your cupboard. If you already love one above others because of certain prejudice, you will not be sincere with God and yourself. This is because your mind is made up and God will not be able to lead you.

– No unnecessary affinity. You need to be mature at this stage so that you won’t force yourself on a wrong person.

– Be careful about getting intimate with his family. Don’t make them regard you as a daughter-in-law when you are not sure about him yet.

– No sex as a sign of interest in him. Sex before marriage is a sin of fornication Hebrews 13:4. When you use sex to bribe him to marry you, he wouldn’t trust you in marriage and every of your move to him will be suspicious.

– Pray through and be fully convinced: Do not pick any of them for wrong reasons or motives. Never say yes because of material things and basis that have no eternal value and future relevance. Ensure you seek the face of God in fasting and praying. Allow God to lead you, your naked eyes will see the physical (container) while your spiritual eyes will reveal many things about now and the future (the content). Matthew 7:21, Romans 8:14.

– Carry out a background check: After you are convinced, check many things about the person’s character, genuine love for you, academic background, residency, family and upbringing. Subject him to scrutiny for your good. If your counsellor requests to see him for interrogation, intercession and confirmation, don’t shield him from coming. The process is for your good.

– Have regard for your denomination biblical doctrine, policies and marital procedure.

– Seek godly counsel. There are some things that may not be too clear to you. You need someone who is more experienced and the Holy Spirit to guide you aright. Proverbs 24

– No undue delay after conviction: When God has already responded and prospered your way, no need for further delay. Give your consent answer and allow others to move on with their lives. If it is none of them, Don’t tie anyone of them down by vain promises or just feeling good to have them already without the intention of getting married to any of them.

– After you have given consent to any of them with much prayers, godly counsel, conviction, background check, future considerations and lots more, never keep others as extra tyres as we have for our vehicle in case one is flat. Do not keep them as Plan B in mind or in attitude. That will mean you are double-dealing which is not Biblical.

But above all things, my brethren, swear not, neither by heaven, neither by the earth, neither by any other oath, but let your yea be yea, and your nay, nay, lest ye fall into condemnation. James 5:12 (KJV)

Kindly share to bless your loves ones.

Pastor Yomi Adewale